Category Archives: family

RECAP.

So, remember when I had a baby three weeks ago and sort of fell off the face of the internet?

This is my attempt to catch you up on my new life because you think I am so very interesting.

Elliot is a regular big brother. He has taken to Oscar as if there’s always been a baby in the house. Instead of outbursts of jealousy or violence, I catch them cuddling, which can sometimes be mistaken for suffocating, but it’s cute nonetheless.

Elliot is also quite proud of the fact that he has learned to count to two and will demonstrate this skill to strangers by poking and counting his eyes, his knees, and my boobs. Hey, whatever works.

We threw a Sip & See when we brought Oscar home. Our apartment was full and so was my heart. We are blessed to be surrounded by the most wonderful friends-turned-family.

Brandon took two weeks off of work to hold my hand and lead me around in my sleep deprivation. Oh, I guess he hung out with the kids, too. But now I’m back to getting a full night’s sleep all night every night.

Just joking! Ha! You should have seen your face!

This time really is so different from the first time in all the best ways. I think I’ll have 100 more kids.

Also, remember when I had nappy long hair?

That was silly.

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RAIN, RAIN, STAY STAY STAY.

1. Sunless sky

2. Toy Story 2

3. Doodling

4. Oscar watches Toy Story 2

5. Elementary fort building

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ON STILL HAVING ZERO DEBT.

Remember when I was all “Husband is quitting his job to go to school and we’re going to take out loans and it’s going to be awesome”?

Yeah. That’s not happening.

We needed a cosigner for the private loan. What we thought would be one simple question for one simple person turned into one million questions for five different people over the course of forever. God was making it complicated. On purpose, probably, because He is so funny. Ha. Ha.

Forever story short, all of our attempts to obtain a cosigner were declined. It’s funny because we were convinced that this was what we were supposed to do and yet all the little doors were being closed even after the big one had been opened. Yeah, yeah, lesson learned. It’s also funny because two important things happened before we got the final “NO”: Husband got a massive-unprecedented-“are you sure that’s right?” raise at work AND God totally changed our hearts toward our original “plan.” Basically, by the time it was all over, we were both relieved. So we’ll wait another year, because if Brandon really is supposed to get this degree, God will make a way. He always does.

Besides, we have some great plans for this year. We will not be waiting in vain. We’ll have another squishy babe to squeeze and so many dinners together and people to enjoy. For whatever reason, we are supposed to have this year to ourselves and Husband is supposed to keep his really, really great job and what could be bad about that?

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WEEKEND WARRIORS.

We had an actual weekend this weekend which never happens. I felt like someone had given me a gift, a much-needed gift before Husband left to get paid to geek out in super secret Apple land until Thursday. I tried really hard not to marry anyone cool, like a rockstar, and I totally succeeded with my computer dweeb of a man.

I mean, I think you’re cool, babe. Really super cool.

Saturday was spent swimming in the pool (I have a tomato-red belly to show for it) and digging in the garden. It’s a little known fact that if you dig at the same rocks for 1+ hours magical (read: imaginary) plants will grow. Who knew?

The evening consisted of our BFFs, Settlers of Catan, slushees, and many, many brownies. Sugar hangover: 3, me: 0.

On Sunday, we saw the new Wes Anderson movie, Moonrise Kingdom. It was, as a good friend put it, nearly perfect.

And then Husband left for California yesterday and I loaded the dishwasher and this means that something is wrong because I always wash dishes by hand so Husband should probably come home now before I do something even more crazy like alphabetize the spices or go grocery shopping. Wait, that’s a real thing that people do.

Oh, dear.

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On having zero debt and then having all the debt.

We have been debt free our entire marriage — even before that, actually — save for some small personal loans from family that have been paid off / forgiven / are almost paid off. Now we’ve made the decision to enter into some serious, serious debt, and it is the best thing we could possibly do for our little family.

Husband has been in school for a, uh, really long time. It’s taken so long because he, of course, has to work full time, and with a family, that really only leaves room to take (online) classes part time without dying. Except he has been dying.

This is what our life has looked like:

Husband works 8 to 5, does homework from 5:30 to 10, goes to sleep (dead).

I single-parent from when E wakes up at 7 until he goes to bed at 8, then read books or blogs, then go to sleep (also dead).

The end. The WORST.

The fact is that if we continue with this life, Brandon will graduate in 200 years and miss every important moment in his sons’ lives and I’ll shrink to invisibility. He will have a degree but will not have a relationship with his family. Yes, Pell grants have covered all his tuition. But is it really financially responsible to remain debt free but want to kill yourself? I’m being dramatic but I’m also being serious.

We’ve prayed and thought and searched and then prayed harder for a solution to this. Brandon’s heart has always been to teach, and more recently it has been to teach the Bible, so we started looking into Arizona Christian University. It is the world’s smallest school (<– probably not an accurate fact) but almost 100% of their alumni are successfully doing what they went to school to do. Many of the professors also teach at Phoenix and Fuller Seminary or do important political, church, and activist stuff. Basically, it’s Brandon’s dream school. He wasn’t confident in applying because his GPA is less than lustrous (being dead will do that to you), but after meeting with an advisor there and praying endlessly, he couldn’t shake the duty he felt to try, at least. We also had no idea how we were going to afford it, and life, but God does crazy stuff. So we went for it.

He applied on a Monday and was accepted that Thursday.

Praise, praise, praise God.

We flirted with the idea of Brandon working part time while going to ACU full time, just to keep that door open and to keep some earned money coming in, but have felt sincerely convicted that that isn’t how we’re supposed to do this. It would be the same life, only flipped — school full time, work part time, sleep, death. So we, my friends, will be living entirely off of debt. And you know what? I look at the five, potentially six figures we will owe the government and the bank and I smile. I welcome it. My family will be whole. My marriage will be whole. I’ll have my best friend back and he’ll be pursuing his dream and then he’ll be living it, which means we’ll all be living it, and how could we not have joy at that? I’ll tie pretty ribbons and thank-you notes around the money we pay back. After all, it is impermanent, fleeting, gone in a second, but my people, my men, our families and our community — they are foreverso we choose to invest in them.

It will be worth it to have Brandon doing what he wants in two years instead of 200. It will be worth it to be making a real living instead of a retail living. It will be worth it to have dinner together again.

It will be worth it.

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